Tee off order - on the 1st tee, we will tee off in order of results from the previous tournament. All other tees follow 'honors' system. "It's your honor, your Honor."
Ready golf - as long as nobody is in harm's way, play 'ready golf' up to the green. Once on the green, furthest from the hole putts first. "Cannonball!"
Putting - No 'gimme' putts. Putt everything regardless of proximity to the hole. "Are you too good for your home?!!"
Penalties - All lost balls, water balls, and OB are 1 stroke. Spend no more than 2 minutes searching for a lost ball. If your ball is lost, in the water or OB, drop a ball where the group agrees is fair and add 1 stroke to your score. "Right in the lumberyard, Danny."
Scoring - Maximum score per hole is 2X course scorecard par. If you have reached that point, pick up your ball. "How do you measure yourself with other golfers?" "By height."
Mulligans - No mulligans are allowed on any hole. "Spalding, you'll get nothing and like it!"
Conditions - You may improve your lie up to six inches in any direction, except on the green or in playable hazards. "Why don't you improve your lie a little, Judge?" "Yes, winter rules..."